The Problem Management Code: #1 Yourself

The very first step to solving any problem is… fixing yourself. And by fixing yourself I mean that you need to first, able to be in better control of your mindset. You’ve heard this phrase many times – The problem is not the problem, the problem is your view of the problem and this is extremely true.

This is the hardest yet most crucial step – admitting that WE are the problem. Have you ever realized that a lot of problems could be less of a problem if we just reacted differently? Have you ever realised that our baggages, past hurt and trauma that are conveniently swept under the rug shapes every single decision you’re going to make in life? Have you realised that everything is solvable the moment you don’t see having problems as a problem – perception is key.

Like I’ve had people coming to me asking how to get rid of their petty people all the time. My first question is are the petty people your boss? People who make crucial decisions on your career path? If no, why is that a problem and why do you react so easily to it? Do you want to get better? Climb higher? Earn more? Yes? Then it’s just going to be more and more petty people the higher you climb. So since you don’t like them very much, shall we not get better and don’t climb the ladder? Well, you decide who dictates your life then.

Another good example is when we’re talking about relationships, especially when you’ve just broken up. There are Five Stages of Closure: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and lastly Acceptance – which means forgiveness and letting go. And that means understanding that you may never understand why things happened the way they did and it’s okay. And you can’t get closure from any other person, only from yourself. There’s this really great guy I know whom I always ask why is his heart totally closed. He has been refusing to open up to deal with that wound and put it to rest.

This is an important step before embarking on any new relationships to those who just got out of one. We tend to attract our own energy patterns at that point in time and if we came out of a relationship distrustful and angry, if every partner was a cheater, if every partner refused to commit, guess what partner you’re going to attract next? And the next? And the next?

Yeap, exactly like that one.

And you know what happens when you don’t heal? You push all those people who genuinely love you away because your energy naturally repels. Do you know how much a person needs to love you in order to put up with your lashing out, being paranoid, being mean, being rude, being sad and the worst part of all, watching you be so unkind to yourself over something not very worth it. And you pushed them all away because you truly don’t believe you deserve them.

So how do we break out of this? People with high Eating God percentage are much better at solving problems, in fact they don’t even see problems as problems. In Qimen you can use the Chief with the Rest door (the higher the star level the better). Very much like the formation I just posted a few hours ago that looks like this:

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Sit there and manifest (here if you don’t know how) – that “I will release and heal from all past experiences, the past will no longer define me and I will hereon only allow all events to grow me, nurture me, increase my energy and shape me into the better person I am meant to be. I am full of life and I look forward to all things that are for my greater good

It may look so simple and easy. But everyone overlooks this very important step because it is painful and it takes a bit of time. So I dare you to try 🙂

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Disclaimer:
The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

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The Qimen Method: Jade Maiden Guarding the Door 玉女守门

Fatal Attraction • An attraction between an individual and someone-something that is so strong the individual lacks reason and logic in their thinking when dealing with their attraction. The subject is often someone/something that will have a negative impact on the individual.

Okay maybe it is not all that morbid but when it comes to the formation of Jade Maiden Guarding the Door 玉女守门 it can be. In this post I’m only going to talk about the Qimen Destiny aspect and not the Strategic Execution aspect of this formation. If you have a Ding together with an Envoy Door anywhere in your Destiny chart, then you have a 玉女守门 formation with you. Advanced students can determine which area you can use it for but regardless you still have it in all aspects.

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Having this in your own destiny chart means extreme likability. You have an incredible ability to build a fan base, you are so likable that even your enemies will end up becoming your supporters/friends even if they do not admit it. Public figures, celebrities and influencers will greatly benefit from this formation as they are widely accepted by mass society. Also great for people to buy your ideas, forming movements and spreading your art, so to speak. In the ancient days, women with this formation has been known to cause fallen empires with emperors waging war just to win over the heart of the fair maiden.

So, having this formation also ensures that you’re never lack of suitors regardless of how you physically look like. The only problem is that there may be too many suitors, the kind that are overly attracted to you, all vying for your attention at the same time. In extreme cases this translates to stalking and obsession which is why it is not such a great formation when it comes to cultivating healthy love relationships. When a love so great is rejected or shunned, it turns into hatred – obsessive hatred – hence the fatal attraction and cause you a lot of losses and pain as well. Vicious cycle is it not? ♥

 

 

Disclaimer:
The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

Mind Your Hexagrams: 3 Beginning 水雷屯

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried but actually you’ve been planted.

That’s the entire story behind this hexagram. It’s a time where things looks difficult and you’re not sure what is going to happen next. To you everything is looking bleak, hopeless and you’re about to give up. But things are only difficult at the beginning and once you break through all the obstructions and gain momentum you will be unstoppable. Embrace and learn from the difficulty for now.

In all matters, just bear with what is for now as things takes time to grow, events takes time to unfold and even feelings takes time to nurture. In relationship, it shows a time of difficulty where 2 person has to go through a lot just to see each other or be together. They look like star crossed lovers but this unavoidable difficulty is only temporary and very necessary to secure a much brighter future. Have faith, allow things to unfold naturally and don’t give up.

In health and well being, you might feel very down and hopeless so do go out and have fun while letting your worries settle on their own. Any fitness or health regime is only painful/unbearable at the beginning. It will feel better soon enough.

Mind Your Hexagrams: 7 Officer 地水师

I’ve mentioned before that my Yi Jing cards are at use almost every night and last night someone shuffled the card with the question “Will I ever fall in love?’. So I made him pick a card – it was Officer, Hexagram 7.

So what can we conclude about this? Kun on Kan is a counter in so let’s start with a non-relationship context. In general this card is all about Discipline and more Discipline. In what? In thoughts, in action because more likely than not this person should be quite flaky/inconsistent (Kan inside denotes character flaws), if not they would not get this card to begin with. If you want something you have to set your mind on it and get the job done no matter what. Your emotions have no say in this matter.

In relationships, the past or the environment you were in may have created (technical savvy may want to use the word ‘contaminated’) some sort of phobia that you still carry till today – hence the character flaw that is your task to fix. Because at the moment you’re being seen as somewhat flaky and unreliable. Someone who says 1 thing and doesn’t follow through because there is a lack of discipline when times are somewhat hard. To answer the above question, the answer is Yes but only after the person learns to discipline themselves to work on removing their baggage, complete the task (with ONE person – so many Yin lines and 1 Yang line) and not bail out or refocus elsewhere halfway – in short – don’t always take the easy way out. Well, unless their idea of love is 1 man with multiple women then that works as well – to each their own 😀

In health and well being this card is still about being discipline to a fitness or diet regime that you have begun. Don’t quit halfway. This is caused by your total lack of focus and your messy string of thoughts. Learn to discipline your mind.

The Fan Yin Code in Relationships

Before I even start, if you’re a beginner kindly ignore this entirely. Fan Yin is a rather advanced/complex subject which is still open to a lot of discussion, debate and consideration. I consider these my own views on the subject.

I’ve gotten a number of recurring questions lately, asking me if 2 person whose Day Master Fan Yin each other can work? Like everything was okay until they found out their spouse is their Fan Yin, so what now?

For example, like this –>

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This actually requires a lot of consideration and it’s not a clear cut yes/no answer because I have seen people who Fan Yin each other actually work well but you have to fit a certain set of criteria.

Fan Yin is a Heaven and Earth clash where the heavenly stem and earthly branch are both clashed/countered. This is seen as ‘killing the daymaster’ in general and is seen as something very inauspicious. Some people have it in their natal chart, you’ll notice they have a lot of highs and lows in life, You can read about it here but there are great misconceptions about it’s usefulness as well.

Since we’re only focusing on relationship, the question right now is that if you don’t have it in your natal chart and you meet a person whose DAY MASTER is your Fan Yin, can this work? Under normal circumstances, we totally discourage this but under weird circumstances it has seen to work IF you fit the criteria below:

1. No.1 Rule:

The number 1 rule actually is that the other person should not Fan Yin your Useful God. In this case the Day Master is not as important as your Useful God, especially if your Day Master is unhealthy (don’t ask me how to determine this it’s been highlighted in multiple courses). Example if you’re a Gui Chou (Yin Water Ox) DM, with the Useful God of Yi Mao (Yin Wood Rabbit), and you met a double Xin You (Yin Metal Rooster) DM like above – you should run as fast as you can *laughs*

2. Useful God

Sometimes the Fan Yin coming in IS your Useful God. Then it actually benefits you more than ruin you. In a relationship it can be draining or you have to overcome something really big to be together, so that brings us to the next criteria to see if you can take it.

3. Day Master 10 Gods

If your Day Master is sitting on EG  or 7K (or have very high EG), you’re actually more accepting to Fan Yin in general – in fact you thrive in it. So having someone who Fan Yin you, you love the chase, the thrill, the challenge and your relationship is going to be the extreme kind where either you love each other crazy or drive each other crazy, and you actually enjoy it! More often than not, there is a huge challenge you both need to overcome first, which totally excites the EG and 7K. But if you’re sitting on anything else – run.

4. Day Master Strength

Check their Day Master strength to begin with. Some are supposed to be a Fan Yin but they may be too weak to even attack u at all. Then it just becomes nothing. If the other person already has a natal Fan Yin (inward), their day master won’t be overly strong anyways, in layman’s terms this translates as someone who knows how it feels like to be attacked and usually will not attack someone else no matter what. They can kill you, they just don’t.

This is a example of a Fan Yin In chart:

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There is another type of Fan Yin called the Fan Yin Out chart. People like these are naturally a bit vicious, self-centered, vindictive and they ‘kill’ even before they are being attacked or even when there’s no one attacking them. This type of chart would actually benefit from someone who Fan Yin them in return. This would be one example of an unhealthy self… BUT they are really good at making money for themselves or elevating their status using whatever it takes.

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5. Yin Yang

Yin elements takes it better than Yang somehow.

6. Elements

Earth clashes (Chou meet Wei | Chen meet Xu) is always better than any other elements clashing – except in health readings, then they are all bad.

7. Keep In Check

Lastly, the Fan Yin is most favorable when it removes your worst pillar or worst element, akin to removing your bad habit and making you a better person. Sometimes YOU are the problem and someone needs to keep you in check. Exactly like how a full combine (or DE) would work, it’s just that a full combine is comfortable – heavy 7K people won’t like this. Fan Yin is challenging, exciting, driven and yes also exhausting and dangerous – which the 7K and EG/HO enjoys and calls fulfillment – playing with fire and living on the fast lane.

To be really honest relationship matters are hardest to read because anything goes. There’s no 1 fixed rule because everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different. Some like it calm and quiet, some like it supportive, some like it thrilling and some like it dysfunctional and crazy, anything goes as long as 2 person agreed to it wholeheartedly. All we can do is to help you find your flavor, and hopefully someone who will be as equally excited to agreeing it with you ♥

Disclaimer:
The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

How To Love: Yourself

You know I’ve been writing so much on my How to Love series, teaching people how to understand and love someone else, but I keep forgetting the most important thing ever, that none of that will matter if we don’t know how to love ourselves.

How many times have you settled for a relationship that is less than what you deserve? How many times have you stayed in one way passed its time? How much time have you wasted by just not knowing that you are worthy of more than those who disrespect you for no reason at all. How many times had you let people just push your around without caring about what you wanted? Or had anyone tell you how to live your life or give you look about your tattoos or just for being different?

If you’re the one guilty of judging I hope that you will find compassion some day and to those who are being judged I want you to tell yourself this, find your Day Master and love yourself for who you are. Be proud, stand tall and you are enough and it’s my job to remind you.

Jia : “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am unyielding. I am loyal to a fault. I take care of everyone like they are my family. I have willpower. I am principled. I love helping people grow. I love bettering myself. I defend to death those I love. I am proudly Jia Wood”

Yi: “I am [Name here]. I change my views with the wind. I use people to get what I want. I am very insecure. But I know give and take. I always bend to please everyone else. I can take any hardship. I can survive anything and thrive. I’m great to talk to. I come up with the greatest ideas. I’m creative. I am proudly Yi Wood”

Bing: “I am [Name here]. I always feel like no one understands me or my actions are not appreciated. I sometimes think I’m better than everyone else. But I am independent. I am self sufficient. I am most giving and I never ask for anything in return. I radiate warmth and light. I will try to be more approachable. I am proudly Bing Fire”

Ding: “I am [Name here]. I always burn myself to please everyone first and I don’t mind. I am fickle minded. I am emotional and constantly need attention. But I am wise and giving. I accept and love people for who they are. I am funny. I light up people’s lives and care about their well being. I will learn to put myself first. I am proudly Ding Fire”

Wu: “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am immovable. It’s my way or the highway. I do not give in and I expect people to listen to me. But I am caring. I love my family. I protect my family. I am trustworthy and I can listen to and encourage you an entire night. I will try to change for the better. I am proudly Wu Earth”

Ji: “I am [Name here]. I am the poster child for cultivating self-love because I am too giving to the point of being a doormat. I am also stubborn but I am nurturing. I am protective of those I love and I care for their every needs. I have great instincts and I am resourceful. I am the embodiment of the word – Kindness and Compassion. I will value myself more. I am proudly Ji Earth”

Geng: “I am [Name here]. I am blunt with my words. When I’m angry I’m a force to be reckoned with. I am rough, tough and will do whatever it takes to get things done. I am ruthless. But I am loyal. I can take the most pressure. I am not afraid of hard work. I will take care and spend more time with my friends and family. I am proudly Geng Metal”

Xin: “I am [Name here]. I am vain. My face value and image is most important. I can be a drama queen and dislike criticism but I am loving. I spoil and care for those I love. I am leader. I am an influencer. I am encouraging and I want to make the world a better place. I am a great, confident speaker. I am proudly Xin Metal”

Ren: I am [Name here]. I hide my emotions well and I am difficult to understand. I can have a temper. I am blunt and honest. I am moody. I am pessimistic. But I am highly intelligent. I am resourceful. I am adaptable. I am sociable. I’m innovative and constantly adding value to the world. I will try to open up more to people. I am proudly Ren Water”

Gui: I am [Name here]. I am (look) arrogant. I am temperamental. I am difficult to lock down. I am freaking impatient and I love my freedom/change way too much. But I am most intuitive and I give to see others grow. I can read people just by feeling their energy. I am wise and I absorb knowledge with ease. I care deeply for those I love and I am patient with them. I will try to cultivate more discipline in thought and in action. I am proudly Gui Water”.

I think there’s enough of hatred in the world and it’s tiring. If there’s one thing we should be spreading, it’s always and ALWAYS, love.

And as usual, there are other components that makes up a person and you may resonate with another Stem that is actually a high healthy percentage in your chart more than your own.

“I am Mindy Yoong. I am kind and giving to a fault and I let nothing stop me from what I believe in. I am temperamental, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I have a ferocious fighting spirit and I love that about myself.” And a big thank you to those who keep reminding me that. So please share with me, what is it that you love about yourself?

The Bazi Method: The Soulmate Code

SOUL•MATE [noun]

A person who was made from the same star as you

One of the simplest way (out of many other methods) to see your affinity with another person is by looking if you belong in the same group and your soulmate can be your closest friends and family too.

Those whose DAY MASTER belong in the same group tend to share the same mindset, belief system, spiritual belief, what they seek and search for in life (if you noticed they share the same Death and Emptiness) hence their ‘souls’ are the same making them highly compatible.

Even the things they grow to love and care about are the same.

Happy Searching! ♥

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Disclaimer:
The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.