‘It’s Okay to Not be Okay’: The Guide to Getting Out of Depression

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I’m writing about this because too many people have either been asking for advise on this or they are in depression but don’t really know how to handle and get out of it and I’ve noticed a substantial increase of this issue among my social circle and a general sense that this pattern is going to stay around till next year. The scariest form of depression are not those who admit it, it’s those who still smile and look happy yet are suffering internally.

No one likes to talk about mental health but this is absolutely necessary – especially now. So if you notice someone around you who are displaying these signs you need to keep an eye on them:

  1. A general feeling of apathy and no drive in what used to excite them
  2. Unable to get out of bed hence always missing at work/social appointments or are always late.
  3. Not concerned about their appearance and a major drop in work performance
  4. Sudden loss or gain of weight
  5. Appearing too happy or always laughing/joking about everything. The unhappier they are, the more they laugh while totally avoiding the serious/emotional stuff (think Robin Williams).
    People who are truly happy are exceptionally calm, not exceptionally smiley.
  6. Sudden mood swing from happy laughter to being sarcastic and mean. One moment they seem friendly, the other moment they are very inconsiderate to others.
  7. Beginning to display self destructive behavior – excessive smoking, drinking, sex, gambling. They even see it as normal because they don’t think something better is possible for them. So they almost never seek help.
  8. Tired and lacklustre eyes (from lack of sleep and also apathy)

Ironically some people look better and better (you can see it from their facial features and glow compared to the past) and they tell me they are having depression – to me, this particular situation is actually a spiritual awakening and something that is heading for the better, hence this blah feeling will only be temporary. The ones you need to worry about at the ones that are looking worse by the day, with a black/green tinge to their skin tone.

Metaphysically how do you detect depression? Depression is a loss of clarity when things are on a downward spiral, when you see no way out (or up) to your solution and you don’t talk about it at all because you’re not even sad or angry, you’re just numb.

  1. In Metaphysics this is closely linked to the Earth element, the 1 element that loves to keep everything to themselves – which is still okay until they see a subsequent amount of water (And vice versa). We term this as “contamination” or a shrouded mind where clarity is no longer present.
  2. The Sky Cry and Sword Edge Star. If it came in annually then we call this ‘temporary depression’. This year almost 80% of people I’ve met have a Goat [Sky Cry] in their internal palaces – so I remind them that this is just a 1 year depression and it will get better. Knowing this alone made them feel much more hopeful.
  3. Among all the 10 Gods the ones that don’t talk too much and/or overthink are the Resource heavy people and unhealthy Eating Gods.
  4. Solitary and Lonesome stars also keep a lot to themselves and should guard against overthinking.
  5. Horse-Rat clash: This denotes a person who is fickle and lacks peace of mind / clarity. This may or may not translate to depression, but they definitely lack clarity.
  6. Unhealthy or missing Fire element. Fire is the zest of life, having no or unhealthy fire lessens your will to live.
  7. Your hour pillar is in Fan Yin.


If you (or your close ones) are going through this and can’t seem to get out of it, what can you do?

  1. It’s okay to admit that you’re not okay.
  2. Remove yourself from the problem area. If it involves people, remove yourself from the toxic people. We want to contain the issue, so don’t go running elsewhere and create bigger issues you don’t need right now.
  3. People with depression cannot get out of bed. So make it a point to force yourself up everyday. Just get out, even if it’s just a walk and then back home, but establish a consistent wake up time to catch the morning sun and a good breakfast.
  4. Stop any high risk activities, like aerial silk, solo abseiling, maybe freediving or any high risk activities that requires your own judgement.
  5. It’s okay to fluctuate between doing okay and then relapsing back to gloom. Just don’t stay there.
  6. Learn something new, pick up something you need to learn or train on a weekly basis. That will establish a consistent pattern for awhile.
  7. Have 1 particular focus. A competition, a book, a fitness goal, something you need to accomplish and it’s okay if you screw up too. Just have that 1 focus point that you can work towards on a daily basis.

Let’s face it, when you’re in depression it’s difficult getting out of it without some external help for that extra boost, so in terms of Metaphysics [Heaven|Earth|Man], these are some things you can do:

Qimen: The deity that governs Faith, Hope in the future is 9 Heaven. This month’s (Oct) 9 Heaven is in the SouthEast. Have your back SouthEast and repeat the following “I am worthy. I am good enough. I love life, things will only get better and I will never give up” Do this everyday for a month and see yourself start to change (Once the chart changes on Nov 8, back face West instead)

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Feng Shui: Look for your Sheng Qi direction and have your desk or bed (top of the head) face that direction

Intervention: Find someone who is their Nobleman to talk to them. My best friend, also my nobleman/useful god, coaxed me to accompany her to a Joey Yap seminar back in 2010 which ultimately shaped my future. For those who are worried about your friends, always check on them. Be their support system by giving them things to do (1 focus point) or just keep them busy out of the house, either dancing or just hanging out till they are much better.

Lastly keep moving forward even if you can’t see what’s ahead. Take baby steps if you must because no storm lasts forever. After all, depression is also the last spiritual journey to enlightenment as long as you don’t give up. You’ll thank yourself someday 

Disclaimer:
The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

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The Everyone’s Guide to Joey Yap’s Spiritual Excursions

You know the smallest thing can change your life.
In a blink of an eye something happens by chance when you least expected, sets you on a course you never planned, into a future you never expected. Where will it take you? That’s the journey of our lives. Our search for the light. But sometimes finding the light means we need to pass through our deepest darkness. At least that’s how it was for me – Nicholas Sparks

I heard this while I was watching a Nicholas Sparks movie on the way home from Taiwan where we had the trip of our lives.

This was my very first excursion. Everyone who ends up on a trip like this has a purpose. Everyone came here in search of something, to breakthrough something, to solve something and I’m pretty sure everyone had a list in hand. I’ve also met people who had no list but just wanted to heal. Like me, they probably went through something recently. Before I even start I wanted to apologize because some students mentioned that I was overly reserved and very quiet. 3 weeks ago I had a traumatic experience that I have been literally forcing myself to heal from. The night before flying to Taiwan I also had to attend an important funeral and had my closures all at once. Closure is one thing, healing is another. I knew I was not physically nor mentally fit for this trip but hey that is what a spiritual excursion is for in the first place and in perfect timing. I tell myself to suck it up and got myself to the airport the next morning.

Let me tell you we have the most fantastic team of Supercrew organizers with their funky Men In Black ear piece making sure everything is in order, everyone is settled, comfortable, got their t-shirts and equipment in order. Getting a walkie-talkie is quite essential in order to not miss out on Dato’s explanations and also to make sure you are aware of the time and arrangements. I love how all the walkie talkie echoes like surround sound speakers so that almost everyone could listen clearly.

Day 0 is all about getting settled into the gorgeous hotel room and we rest up for Day 1.

Our first stop was already the highlight, the 7 Star Temple. The moment I walked in I could feel the strong energy. Dato picked a special Qimen chart just for this because when Heaven, Earth and Man is in alignment, you can literally move mountains so don’t miss out on this. We start with priests reciting cleansing mantras before we move on to lighting the 7 star lamps + walk. If you’re sensitive to energy, it’s the moment they chant that you’re going to feel the energy most. Let it flow and LET YOURSELF GO. If you have problem manifesting you can refer back to my post here. Some don’t feel anything and that’s perfectly okay but as I mentioned to Bus C, you need to let go of any thought, any control, any fear, any expectation even and just drift.

Because I was forcing myself, I could feel the energy but I ended up with a freaking headache because I expected it to heal me at one go and I wasn’t letting go of the process. Instead I got more frustrated. So don’t make my same mistake. Let go. Most importantly, forgive yourself and let go.

Some temples are purely meant for manifesting, like the 7 star temple, Lady of the Sacred Stone temple, some of the deities in the Guan Yin temple so ask away within the realm of your possibility.

Some temples are for enlightenment. The moment I feel the energy it’s like with each God I prayed to I added one light to my body, that sort of feeling. Those would be places like the Jade emperor temple, the 9 Heavens Goddess in Lion Hill temple is one of my personal favorite.

Some are for healing, specifically the majestic Guan Yin temple, Guan Yin cave and the magnificent Buddha Palm Temple. I think most of us on this trip will agree that they felt the most release here. I felt its energy the moment I got off the last step of the stairs. We were very privileged that they opened up the internal quarters for us, the energy in there is indescribable. If there is ever another trip back here, count me in 🙂

Things to note:

  1. You can have a whole list of wishes but it’s best to focus on 3 main ones. Keep them short but on point. Easier to remember that way. You can also write it out and read them out if you wish. You can also keep it fluid, just ask for whatever comes to mind at that moment. A lot of times we think we want something, but after the cleansing process, it awakens you to what you really want instead. So keep your wishes somewhat flexible and please, never waste these wishes on avenging anything. Let go.
  2. As for walking the 7 Star path, stay calm. Just follow the instructions and those in front of you. If you do forget the step (like me…I was *that* out of sync.. LOL!) just pause and ask. Take your time, collect your scroll and proceed INSIDE to make the wish.
  3. Like everything else in life, don’t ‘overdose’ on good energy. Our human body has a set of limitations and once your battery charge reaches a 100% say thank you and stop. Grounding is very important too so visualise your feet with roots deep into the ground. Try not to lie down or lie on something. Sitting up straight or standing up straight is preferred.
  4. It’s okay to be emotional and vulnerable. We’re all amongst family and we all have wounds to heal from. This state of emotion may not happen during the trip and lingers till you get home.
  5. Feel free to share your story/experience. You’ll never know who you indirectly helped.

I had 5 wishes. 2 already came true within the next 2 hours even I was taken aback. So yes, it is THAT potent and don’t waste it. Even if you don’t know what to wish, ask for the days to always be better than the one before. Snowball all the good stuff, you can’t go wrong.

The thing that touched me the most at the Buddha Palm temple (apart from the energy) was that they allowed us to have the lotus ceremony and I haven’t made any other wish apart from in the 7 star temple. So I made a very spontaneous wish for the person standing in front of me and it came true within 1 minute I kid you not. Heaven, Earth, Man in alignment and the Qimen formation befitting my own Destiny Palace. As a practitioner it was definitely an eye opener.

Another thing you need to be open to is that, when you ask for something you might get the answer from the person sitting right next to you in the trip, who knows? I am extremely grateful to those of you who opened up to me about your own pain and struggles. One student just lost a son and is learning how to cope. He came on this trip to find out how. I think he’s doing fantastically well and something I can definitely learn from as well. Sometimes you guys don’t realize how inspiring ALL of you are and I feel I need to tell you all so. Not only that, I got to witness one of the most powerful Surging Snake in action. The best Surging Snake can take anyone’s energy and turn it all around, mediumship is one of the paths they can take. This was another eye opener for me.

I came to Taiwan somewhat defeated. I had 1 main purpose, that was to find myself again and after 4 awesome days not only I found that in the most unexpected way, I found friends, I found family, I found strength, so much love and I found out that the first step to anything is to forgive yourself first. Everything else flows like a golden river after. Head up, chin up and ready to take on the world. I sincerely thank Dato Joey, my boss, nobleman and mentor, Eddy, the fantastic Supercrew, my fellow consultants who are my family for the fantastic journey and experience.

So where do I sign up for 2020 Team JY? 🙂

How to Make The Best of Everything

No technicalities today, I just want to share 🙂

Going through 4 Fan Yin and 4 Fu Yin (actually 5-5 if you also take my Luck Pillar into account) in 1 year is never an easy thing. Only 2 normal months in 1 whole year. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely LOVE this year. It’s arguably my best year ever. I’ve been given opportunities I’ve never imagined in my lifetime and no words can express how grateful/thankful/blessed I am being amongst people I simple adore. So the highs are really high and the lows, as I’ve also learnt some months because of the Fu Yin, can get quite low. As my best friends keep reminding me, I’ve already been through so much in life what is it that I can’t handle? That is very true. So I took this year to restructure my entire life all over again. Removed what should be removed for the longest time. Starting anew. All at its proper timing.

I used all my biggest Clash months to do all my big move. I didn’t really plan it, I just thought I had nothing left to lose and I’m quite a risk taker, so I might as well experiment. The first time I ever spoke on stage, winning my aerial silk competition, the launch of my blog, my first Webinar were all on my biggest clash months. So what’s there to fear so much about Clashes? I have a Dragon in my Month, the much feared Dragon this year. Both my jobs (yes I have 2 jobs) are not only intact, I got promoted as well. Embrace change, and change will embrace you. Who wants to see Clashes now? 🙂

Now when I think of the low….. one was getting used to new life routines, the only thing I considered as a biggest low was me stupidly disclosing my personal contact last month, actually out of sincere goodwill, cos I am kind, I insist to be kind and I would not have it any other way. But it’s very normal and I have to accept that 1 out of 1000 people I meet will abuse this kindness. Only 1 out of 1000, that’s only 0.1%. If you can help 99.9% what is that 0.1? Statistically, for a Fan Yin-ful year (all 5 of them), I’m actually really happy that the numbers of these physical threats massively dwindled just by me mastering metaphysics. Only 0.1. And if I had been a little bit smarter even this 0.1 would have been avoided.

So why did I learn metaphysics? It’s to handle years like these. And not just to “handle” years like these, but to THRIVE in it. It’s to take stones that life supposedly throw at me to build my castle. A lot of things in life are never even meant to hurt you, if you can only put them all into perspective.

How you ask me? You can start by attending this weekend’s Thrive 2019 🙂

When Your Brain Is On Strike

I suddenly developed a mental block so while I was forcing myself to churn something out and couldn’t, I thought why don’t I just write about… having a mental block?

Whenever you can’t think, more often than not, it involves your Hour pillar as the Hour pillar represents your thoughts, your thinking pattern, things that you are in charge of… which is your mind. See, even the whole Bazi pillar is set up in a way to tell you that you are in charge of your thoughts and not the other way round 🙂

Alternatively, we must first identify the actual problem in order to get a diagnosis. Is the mental block related to:

  1. Lack of inspiration?
  2. Lack of content?
  3. Unable to produce/create anything?
  4. Lack of focus?
  5. Depression?
  6. Brain just not functioning?

There definitely is at least one negative interaction of the above happening at a particular time. What is negative solely depends on the individual chart, even a combination can be negative.

Lack of Inspiration.

This is usually a Fire problem. Either no fire or too much fire element at that point in time can both wipe out your drive, your inspiration for awhile.

Lack of Content.

Lack of content would be a resource (DR/IR) issue. Maybe you want to write something but lack the knowledge for it? Or at that point in time lack the methods to obtain these information. Fluctuating Resource can also mean that your thoughts are unstable and erratic.

Unable to create/produce anything.

This is an output (EG/HO) issue. Either too much, too little or any negative interactions is enough to put all your great ideas to a halt. It can also mean that you’re tinkering with your idea for too long.

Lack of Focus

Lack of focus is usually an Influence (DO/7K) problem. Either you lack discipline in carrying out what you’re supposed to do or constantly flip flopping your ideas, which shows your inability to focus on the task at hand at that point in time.

Temporary Depression.

One of the biggest contributor to this is having a Fu Yin come in, especially when it’s interacting with the hour pillar (there are many additional factors as well like when involving fire or earth elements)

I think it’s very very normal for anyone to go through a downtime at any point of their lives and should not be overly alarmed over it. Sometimes we need downtime to regroup, rethink and re-strategize. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

6. Brain refuse to function?

This is when you’re not depressed, everything else is okay but your brain just refuses to get up from sleep. This usually happens when there is some sort of negative interaction with your Hour pillar. It can range from Destructions, Punishments, Harms, Fan Yin and even negative combinations, like combining an unfavorable Death and Emptiness (DE) into your Hour pillar. It worsen if your hour pillar happens to be your Resource, Output or Influence.

How to Mitigate?

If you are into Feng Shui, you can check/clear the corresponding directions or flying star sectors that is related to the above issue. Most likely a 1, 4, 6.

If you prefer to use Qimen or can’t use Feng Shui, 9 Heavens is a great deity to use, together with a Life or Open door. Moon in a good door is also fantastic for amassing knowledge. White Tiger is great for execution, energy and strength.

Chinese Metaphysics in the Consulting World

These couple of weeks I’ve had the luxury to meet up with all my ex-colleagues cum good buddies to catch up, to talk about the good old days, sharing project horror stories and we know we miss each other a lot when we all refuse to leave. *laughs*

We were all hardcore consultants and personally being in the technical consulting industry for 18 years with 23 full cycle projects, we’ve seen a lot. There are all sorts of bosses, all sorts of tactic, all sorts of cultures, clients, colleagues, they come in all shapes, sizes and patterns. You name it. Being a Business/IT Consultant especially with the big names meant that we don’t sleep, we don’t eat, we hardly see our homes and family, live out of our suitcase, our ‘home’ becomes the airport or ever changing hotel rooms. Some were present in war torn countries, deal with terrorist attacks, deadly political rallies, ghastly haunted rooms but the client’s wish is our command regardless. For a career path that takes too much out of a human, you better make sure it pays as much.

So learning Chinese Metaphysics in a field like this certainly gave me an added advantage, not to mention plenty of research material. I listen and try to address most of their concern since they are my bestest of friends through thick and thin, we were/are on the same boat. Almost all of them ended up picking up the subject themselves eventually. IT people are always attracted to Chinese Metaphysics, it’s governed by the same element anyways and their structured thinking somehow makes it much easier to pick it up.

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The concerns range from, should I take up this project/change project? Can I hire person X for this role? Is the head hunter/agent pulling a fast one on me again? Is this company cashflow ok? Are they really able to go live on X date? When are they going to pay me and when to chase them? How to handle this boss/staff? How to ace this interview? How to convince the client to sign off?

Qi Men Dun Jia is a fantastic tool in my line of work because the nature of our job is fighting battles every other day. This is not about playing politics because most of us have no interest in that. We can’t even find time to slap someone with 2 faces. We just want to get things done on time as ethically as possible But if you’re going to be dragged onto a battle ground by force, you better know how to use a gun. Qimen is fantastic for forecasting an outcome, knowing who are your allies and frenemies, planning certain date and time to achieve the outcome you want (for example a sign off or smoother UAT).

Bazi is a lot about people matters or foreseeing the potential issues. Hiring matters and how to understand your staff/boss better. I believe in win-win situations when it comes to your own team so understanding how to compromise each other’s needs and what makes them tick, who is actually trustworthy and who is not is pretty important. People who are seemingly nice may not be nice, and people seemingly difficult may not be difficult. Even a ‘difficult’ person may just be misunderstood and there are ways to see/handle that. I will write about this soon.

I don’t cover Feng Shui that much because unless you are the business owner, you have no authority to renovate someone’s office space. We spend 90% of our time in the client’s office anyways and at most you can only sit on your most favourable direction (Sheng Qi in your Bazi chart) or tilt your table direction if that is even possible.


Ah… regardless I think we consultants love our job tremendously and would not have it any other way ♥

‘You Had Me At Hello’ : The Relationship Code

Happiness is when you see your own friends being really happy. Recently 3 of my friend’s love lives suddenly kicked off. All 3 of them have had their own difficult past and I’m actually really happy to see that it all worked out well.

So for them, I actually used 3 different methods:

1. Bazi:

Person 1 is a divorcee and was pretty skeptical about the whole dating thing when someone interesting came into the picture. So I used the exact same Bazi analysis I used in the eloping story *laughs* that I’ve briefly covered before:

  • Day master replication/combination: When their day master appears in the other person’s chart or there are multiple combinations between 2 charts.
  • Keep in check: When one person’s chart takes away the problem area or Nullify clash or Death and Emptiness of the other person’s chart.
  • Balance: She has elements that he doesn’t and he has the ones she doesn’t.
  • Same journey: They have the same patterns in their birth chart.
  • Completeness: When you put their chart together they form a 3 Harmony.
  • Useful God – Self explanatory.
  • Red Matchmaker – When one or both are in their Red Matchmaker Shen Sha luck or are each other’s Red Matchmaker.
  • Sexual Compatibility: Explained here.

The logic of doing this checklist is that, the more factors you match, the more likely you are to stay together when life gets tough (clashes).

To date, they are dating and happily in love.

2. Feng Shui:

Person 2 has been single for about…. 8 years. Everyone he has met after his last relationship were either women unwilling to commit or just plain unsuitable in character or chemistry. He casually asked for help many months back. For him, I checked his peach blossom direction, got his house plan and told him to clear the area making sure it’s not only clutter-free but as aesthetically pleasing and as comfortable to spend time in as possible. He also got some fresh flowers and placed it there for quite awhile. I also quietly used the next method after this. He is planning his wedding as we speak.

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3. Qi Men Dun Jia

Person 3, broke up 2 years ago and occasionally rants about being single (and sexless) her whole life. I gave her a few ideal Qimen configurations to manifest. Incidentally, earlier in the year there was a really good and strong Deity Force direction. Whenever I see this, as Chief myself, I end up manifesting for my friends because it’s about 10 times more potent. Person 2 and Person 3 magically met their partners about the same time and are very much in love.

Yay! ♥