The Fan Yin Code in Relationships

Before I even start, if you’re a beginner kindly ignore this entirely. Fan Yin is a rather advanced/complex subject which is still open to a lot of discussion, debate and consideration. I consider these my own views on the subject.

I’ve gotten a number of recurring questions lately, asking me if 2 person whose Day Master Fan Yin each other can work? Like everything was okay until they found out their spouse is their Fan Yin, so what now?

For example, like this –>


This actually requires a lot of consideration and it’s not a clear cut yes/no answer because I have seen people who Fan Yin each other actually work well but you have to fit a certain set of criteria.

Fan Yin is a Heaven and Earth clash where the heavenly stem and earthly branch are both clashed/countered. This is seen as ‘killing the daymaster’ in general and is seen as something very inauspicious. Some people have it in their natal chart, you’ll notice they have a lot of highs and lows in life, You can read about it here but there are great misconceptions about it’s usefulness as well.

Since we’re only focusing on relationship, the question right now is that if you don’t have it in your natal chart and you meet a person whose DAY MASTER is your Fan Yin, can this work? Under normal circumstances, we totally discourage this but under weird circumstances it has seen to work IF you fit the criteria below:

1. No.1 Rule:

The number 1 rule actually is that the other person should not Fan Yin your Useful God. In this case the Day Master is not as important as your Useful God, especially if your Day Master is unhealthy (don’t ask me how to determine this it’s been highlighted in multiple courses). Example if you’re a Gui Chou (Yin Water Ox) DM, with the Useful God of Yi Mao (Yin Wood Rabbit), and you met a double Xin You (Yin Metal Rooster) DM like above – you should run as fast as you can *laughs*

2. Useful God

Sometimes the Fan Yin coming in IS your Useful God. Then it actually benefits you more than ruin you. In a relationship it can be draining or you have to overcome something really big to be together, so that brings us to the next criteria to see if you can take it.

3. Day Master 10 Gods

If your Day Master is sitting on EG  or 7K (or have very high EG), you’re actually more accepting to Fan Yin in general – in fact you thrive in it. So having someone who Fan Yin you, you love the chase, the thrill, the challenge and your relationship is going to be the extreme kind where either you love each other crazy or drive each other crazy, and you actually enjoy it! More often than not, there is a huge challenge you both need to overcome first, which totally excites the EG and 7K. But if you’re sitting on anything else – run.

4. Day Master Strength

Check their Day Master strength to begin with. Some are supposed to be a Fan Yin but they may be too weak to even attack u at all. Then it just becomes nothing. If the other person already has a natal Fan Yin (inward), their day master won’t be overly strong anyways, in layman’s terms this translates as someone who knows how it feels like to be attacked and usually will not attack someone else no matter what. They can kill you, they just don’t.

This is a example of a Fan Yin In chart:


There is another type of Fan Yin called the Fan Yin Out chart. People like these are naturally a bit vicious, self-centered, vindictive and they ‘kill’ even before they are being attacked or even when there’s no one attacking them. This type of chart would actually benefit from someone who Fan Yin them in return. This would be one example of an unhealthy self… BUT they are really good at making money for themselves or elevating their status using whatever it takes.


5. Yin Yang

Yin elements takes it better than Yang somehow.

6. Elements

Earth clashes (Chou meet Wei | Chen meet Xu) is always better than any other elements clashing – except in health readings, then they are all bad.

7. Keep In Check

Lastly, the Fan Yin is most favorable when it removes your worst pillar or worst element, akin to removing your bad habit and making you a better person. Sometimes YOU are the problem and someone needs to keep you in check. Exactly like how a full combine (or DE) would work, it’s just that a full combine is comfortable – heavy 7K people won’t like this. Fan Yin is challenging, exciting, driven and yes also exhausting and dangerous – which the 7K and EG/HO enjoys and calls fulfillment – playing with fire and living on the fast lane.

To be really honest relationship matters are hardest to read because anything goes. There’s no 1 fixed rule because everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different. Some like it calm and quiet, some like it supportive, some like it thrilling and some like it dysfunctional and crazy, anything goes as long as 2 person agreed to it wholeheartedly. All we can do is to help you find your flavor, and hopefully someone who will be as equally excited to agreeing it with you ♥

The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

How To Love: Yourself

You know I’ve been writing so much on my How to Love series, teaching people how to understand and love someone else, but I keep forgetting the most important thing ever, that none of that will matter if we don’t know how to love ourselves.

How many times have you settled for a relationship that is less than what you deserve? How many times have you stayed in one way passed its time? How much time have you wasted by just not knowing that you are worthy of more than those who disrespect you for no reason at all. How many times had you let people just push your around without caring about what you wanted? Or had anyone tell you how to live your life or give you look about your tattoos or just for being different?

If you’re the one guilty of judging I hope that you will find compassion some day and to those who are being judged I want you to tell yourself this, find your Day Master and love yourself for who you are. Be proud, stand tall and you are enough and it’s my job to remind you.

Jia : “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am unyielding. I am loyal to a fault. I take care of everyone like they are my family. I have willpower. I am principled. I love helping people grow. I love bettering myself. I defend to death those I love. I am proudly Jia Wood”

Yi: “I am [Name here]. I change my views with the wind. I use people to get what I want. I am very insecure. But I know give and take. I always bend to please everyone else. I can take any hardship. I can survive anything and thrive. I’m great to talk to. I come up with the greatest ideas. I’m creative. I am proudly Yi Wood”

Bing: “I am [Name here]. I always feel like no one understands me or my actions are not appreciated. I sometimes think I’m better than everyone else. But I am independent. I am self sufficient. I am most giving and I never ask for anything in return. I radiate warmth and light. I will try to be more approachable. I am proudly Bing Fire”

Ding: “I am [Name here]. I always burn myself to please everyone first and I don’t mind. I am fickle minded. I am emotional and constantly need attention. But I am wise and giving. I accept and love people for who they are. I am funny. I light up people’s lives and care about their well being. I will learn to put myself first. I am proudly Ding Fire”

Wu: “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am immovable. It’s my way or the highway. I do not give in and I expect people to listen to me. But I am caring. I love my family. I protect my family. I am trustworthy and I can listen to and encourage you an entire night. I will try to change for the better. I am proudly Wu Earth”

Ji: “I am [Name here]. I am the poster child for cultivating self-love because I am too giving to the point of being a doormat. I am also stubborn but I am nurturing. I am protective of those I love and I care for their every needs. I have great instincts and I am resourceful. I am the embodiment of the word – Kindness and Compassion. I will value myself more. I am proudly Ji Earth”

Geng: “I am [Name here]. I am blunt with my words. When I’m angry I’m a force to be reckoned with. I am rough, tough and will do whatever it takes to get things done. I am ruthless. But I am loyal. I can take the most pressure. I am not afraid of hard work. I will take care and spend more time with my friends and family. I am proudly Geng Metal”

Xin: “I am [Name here]. I am vain. My face value and image is most important. I can be a drama queen and dislike criticism but I am loving. I spoil and care for those I love. I am leader. I am an influencer. I am encouraging and I want to make the world a better place. I am a great, confident speaker. I am proudly Xin Metal”

Ren: I am [Name here]. I hide my emotions well and I am difficult to understand. I can have a temper. I am blunt and honest. I am moody. I am pessimistic. But I am highly intelligent. I am resourceful. I am adaptable. I am sociable. I’m innovative and constantly adding value to the world. I will try to open up more to people. I am proudly Ren Water”

Gui: I am [Name here]. I am (look) arrogant. I am temperamental. I am difficult to lock down. I am freaking impatient and I love my freedom/change way too much. But I am most intuitive and I give to see others grow. I can read people just by feeling their energy. I am wise and I absorb knowledge with ease. I care deeply for those I love and I am patient with them. I will try to cultivate more discipline in thought and in action. I am proudly Gui Water”.

I think there’s enough of hatred in the world and it’s tiring. If there’s one thing we should be spreading, it’s always and ALWAYS, love.

And as usual, there are other components that makes up a person and you may resonate with another Stem that is actually a high healthy percentage in your chart more than your own.

“I am Mindy Yoong. I am kind and giving to a fault and I let nothing stop me from what I believe in. I am temperamental, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I have a ferocious fighting spirit and I love that about myself.” And a big thank you to those who keep reminding me that. So please share with me, what is it that you love about yourself?

The Qimen Method: How To Win The Heart of ‘The One’ in 2019

“I realised I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you’d been on my mind. Then it occurred to me, since I met you, you never left…”

This funny little thing called love. It can hit you when you least expect it to, anywhere, at your worst, at your best, at a time when you didn’t think you’ll trust anyone again, at a time when you’ve already sworn off all men/women so that they don’t hurt you anymore, ah, then it appears, just to test you and see if you’ve finally learnt all the lessons the universe has been trying to teach you all these while. I could almost hear the universe watching anxiously and asking itself ‘For the love of god universe, have you finally learned this time??’ 😂

So the conclusion is, humans, when it comes to the love department, tend to lose all rationality and brain function. So when shit hits the fan we turn into emotional wrecks, closing up our hearts because we never want to feel this crappy ever again. The one biggest mistake we can ever make is to let the hurt of your past relationship indirectly sabotage your current potential relationship. This creates that vicious cycle.

Then there is also that group of people who when in love totally freezes up, says the wrong things, do the wrong things, accidentally offend the love of your life and screws up everything like end up being blocked on Facebook *laughs*

Today I’m addressing this group of people (most likely the Pillars and some Grain too), who don’t have smooth pick up lines (because they are the all round straight laced good guys – and girls) and no longer want to screw up everything. If there is one thing I’ve learnt the hard way is that the more smooth talking the man, the more you should be careful in trusting him. In males it’s a bit different, I observed that men have a higher tendency to pick a wrong partner because most of them choose the one that feeds their insecurities in one way or another, regardless if this person is right for them or not OR they choose the one that imposed all the decision on them, and later realise they don’t like this. Personally I prefer the ones who put their foot in their mouth and have no clue what to do – a bit more direct and trustworthy. Same goes to the female for men.

So this is for you so that you don’t screw up again with this fantastic person you’ve just met. This is an advanced technique that you can use. If you have NO CLUE about Qimen whatsoever, kindly ignore the entire article and take a look at my How To Train your Deity series instead.

This technique takes a bit of effort because you do need to know the other person’s hour in order to plot their Qimen Destiny chart like below. If you don’t have the hour then we will use different methods that I’ll discuss on a different post.

The access to this chart will be given to you when you sign up for Qimen Academy which is launching very very soon

Secondly, just take note of the palace/direction of the 6 Harmony, which governs relationships, here the SouthEast.


Then look at this 2019 Qimen Chart below and look for the SouthEast. You only need to take note of the Star, example here Destructor.

2019 Qimen Chart:


So this year, this is what your special someone is looking for in their relationship, regardless of what they tell you. Your mission, which is to win their heart, is to at least know what to do. And this will only work in 2019, you have 6 months before we need to work on a different chart.
2019 Qimen Chart:

WhatsApp Image 2019-08-02 at 11.03.48
2019 Stars:

So if their Star falls on:

Grain: Nurture

This year your partner or potential partner wants to be nurtured, taken care of. You need to constantly check on them, do things for them and be their biggest supporter, better still be their shoulder to cry on or sounding board.

Bird: Luxury

This year your partner or potential partner wants to taste the life on the high side. Take him/her on pleasure cruises, social parties, fine dining and shower them with sentimental gestures. Skip the roadside stalls or Malaysian favourite Mamak stalls for now.

Hero: Romantic.

This year your partner or potential partner wants to feel the romance with a capital R. Romantic walks in the park/beach, intimate restaurants, grand gestures like lighting 500 tealights with the words ‘I love you’ or strewn rose petals. The keyword here is not expensive, but well thought and meaningful.

Heart: Healing

This year your partner or potential partner is going to be confusing and this is not going to be easy for you. Either they have been really hurt and is taking their time to heal, so being compassionate or giving them space will really help. Yet they don’t want to be pitied, so they act like they only want to have commitment-less fun and look for excitement when it is not. Understanding them is going to be a chore so you are going to need a lot of patience to do this. It’s up to you to decide if they are worth the effort.

Destructor: Challenge

This year your partner or potential partner wants to feel the thrill of the chase. The men chasing and the female being chased. But both wants challenge this year so don’t be too easy. Blow hot and cold, mixed signals, drive them crazy and they will be the one running to you instead.

Assistant: Growth

This year your partner or potential partner wants to grow. They are all about being better, learning new things, having new experiences so travelling together is a good idea. You can ‘accidentally’ sign up the same course as them so that this gives you more time to learn together.

Ambassador: T-R-U-S-T

They most likely had it bad recently so this year they are learning to trust again. Don’t do things to hurt them or betray their trust, even if they are lashing out and are very sensitive/defensive about everything around them due to this lack of trust. Keep a check on them often to know if you’ve accidentally hurt them (cos you may not know it), and if you did, apologize and find ways to earn their trust again.

Pillar: Connection

This year your partner or potential partner wants to connect or reconnect. They want things direct and as transparent as possible if not they can be quite passive aggressive. So open communication is key to getting in the heart of those with Pillar in their 6 Harmony palace this year.

Grass: Sensuality

This year your partner or potential partner is more sexual than usual. Regardless of the status, they will be more touchy feely than usual. So tucking her hair when you talk to her will most likely excite her as much as accidentally brushing your finger against his thigh will excite him. Wear something that really flatters your physicality when going out with them. They long for a physical connection on top of an emotional one.

Have a great year and may you find the love you’re looking for ♥

The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

The Shen Sha Code: Red Matchmaker 紅鸞

Naturally I have a lot of single friends who excitedly comes to me when they meet someone new. I was joking with a client the other day that it’s extremely difficult to date a metaphysician. We can “swipe left and right” faster than Tinder just by glancing at charts before knowing you *laughs*. Another good friend recently gave me FOUR charts to choose from. It just took me a quick glance at all 4 to immediately pick out 1 telling this person, “This one, you’re already in love with this one. The rest doesn’t matter anymore”.

As for HOW I know this? It’s by looking at this Auxiliary Star (Shen Sha). As I’ve mentioned some practitioners don’t place much importance on Shen Sha but I do. Some stars can supersede stem combinations which may not be favourable to begin with (and of course some don’t). So this is a subjective technique and entirely up to you.

So as a post-workshop post, I talked about 4 main Peach Blossom stars. Some are all about charisma, some all about lust, this one, the Red Matchmaker, we like to see because it’s all about LOVE. As logical minded as I am, I still see this as the most important thing ever. Relationship is all about LOVE (Okay if you’re that traditional maybe to you it’s just a mean to produce an heir then you don’t have this star). Because as long as there is love, you literally move mountains. It’s like a superpower, power boost, everything 10Xed if you want to put it that way but I’m not crazy enough to take some passionate, whirlwind romance as love. Love is about Trust, Respect, Honor, Giving, Growth, a LOT of Tolerance.

Of course we don’t like to see it clashed off which is why we also place importance on the other 7 criterias to make sure the whole relationship stays intact. Out of 7, this is just one albeit the most important one. But you get the point, the aim to the whole relationship game is to hit as many as possible so that when 1-2 is clashed off there will be other things holding the relationship in place.


Back to the Red Matchmaker, some combinations are better than others. Also to me it’s less ideal if you have this already in your natal chart. All it tells me is that you are going to get married, and to someone who may or may not be suitable for you – that requires further assessment, but at that point in time you thought they were. Then you’re going to ask me what if you already passed it? What if it’s at 70 years old?? Not to worry because we have 7 other criteria and also the most preferred configuration for the Red Matchmaker is when the animal sign actually appears in someone else’s chart. That way, you love them all over again every single day. How nice is that?

So what does Red Matchmaker Shen Sha actually feel like? The entire purpose of this star is to fall in love. Even when you’ve got your heart broken into pieces and sworn off men/women forever, the moment this star comes in from another person you are going to have to eat your own words. This usually leads to marriage and even if not a very solid loving relationship that will stand the test of time.

The Red Matchmaker is with the Dragon this year. Most Dragons (or Dragon somewhere in the chart) got their heart really broken last year all the way up to March 2019. This year, open up your heart again. Pick yourself up, learn the lesson and move on. It’s safe to love again 🙂


How To Love A Heavenly Bird


The Bird always appears with the Grain star. If your Day Master appears in the Center palace, that makes you a Bird.

The thing about a Bird is how refined they are. They make great conversationalist as they are worldly, intellectual with a broad vision to match. They are extremely creative and there is always an air of calmness and awe to them.

The only issue is that sometimes their vision can be too broad for their abilities and makes them look boastful, but they are determined to achieve it nonetheless. This vision is sometimes changeable as well, which makes them rather fickle. While they are out chasing their dreams they won’t have too much time to run your errands either.

In love, Mr Bird easily attracts the opposite sex due to his charm and sentimental demeanor. They seem to understand and know what you want but due to the broad vision he set upon himself, he is constantly searching for the perfect woman who does not exist. He gets disappointed when reality does not match his worldly expectations. The key point is to manage his expectation way up front.

Miss Bird is a master seductress. She’s sensual, feminine and she, like Mr Bird, understands you enough to know what you want. Wooing her does not come cheap. She enjoys being wined and dined at the finest places and she wants to feel that she is your whole world. Sentimental gestures also impresses her like love notes or remembering key dates that are important to her. The key to her heart is to strategically place short breaks in the relationship. This will make her miss and appreciate you more.

In love making, they yearn creativity and passion. It has to be sweet, refined and anything too rough will not sit well with them. Skin contact, lower back and the stomach area are their weak spots. They are sensual, classy beings and expect to be treated as such.



If you’re not sure what Star you are, go to –>

Plot your own birth chart (you must have the hour)

Your Star will be written here:


How To Love a Heavenly Destructor


You must really like challenge to fall in love with a Destructor. Destructors, as the name implies, are adventurous, forceful, warriors, tacticians, your typical Alpha male (or Alpha females). They thrive on thrill, challenges, obstacles and live life on the fast lane. A bit like the Heart, they don’t take commitment that well either.

They get bored very easily. Reckless, impatient, if they wanted something they won’t play by the rules to get it. They don’t have the patience to walk through your problems which makes them somewhat unreliable when you have a bad patch. They also love to talk, sometimes borderline brag, about their achievements, so you’d better be a listener.

Because Destructors are impatient, they judge a person pretty quickly without getting to know them. While some are quite shallow, I also have Destructor friends (with a Surging Snake) who is exceptionally spot on whenever a client walks through his door. The rest always end up in the wrong relationships because they didn’t take the time to get to know the other person enough.

In love, Mr Destructor will charm and woo his way into any girl’s heart (and pants) and you are going to have a hard time saying No. Once they set a goal, they will achieve it by all means possible. Your biggest challenge is keeping his interest in you as he gets bored very easily. So the keyword is to let him do the chasing. For someone seemingly Alpha, he ironically prefers someone who is interesting and independent enough to stand their own next to him. Anyone too soft, too conservative and clingy is not their cup of tea.

Miss Destructor is ….. really demanding and not that easy to understand. She likes to friend-zone potential partners as a way to assess if they are right for her. She’s always like one of the boys and it’s not that easy to figure out of she is even interested in you in the first place. But the key to her heart is always surprise her, be fun, teach her new things everyday and accept her dual personality. She expects you to treat her and speak to her as an equal and to give her the space she needs. She is quite possessive of you but smother or confine her and she will drop you like a fly.

In love making, they are exceptionally exhilarating and expects every encounter to top the last. Change your positions and environment often, be bold enough to try something very new. Kissing or gentle strokes to their arms and legs turns them on. Not for the faint hearted.


If you’re not sure what Star you are, go to –>

Plot your own birth chart (you must have the hour)

Your Star will be written here:


How To Love A Heavenly Assistant

Assistants are philosophers. They love pondering about how things work and what makes something tick, all the hows and whys. They love all things knowledge and will endlessly pursue it. They make great scholars, even those who may not have the privilege of high education has an air of wisdom to them.

It only becomes a problem when they become too analytical to the point of fearing action. They tend to ponder far too long until opportunities pass them by. They are also rather sensitive and on an extreme state becomes a know-it-all. They don’t take criticisms too well either.

Naturally they are observant, inquisitive and also the most patient which makes them very great and understanding lovers, open to differences and diversity. Imagine someone who knows how you work, what makes you tick, what is your likes and dislikes without you needing to tell them. That makes Assistants one of the sweetest of 9 Stars.

Mr Assistant likes his alone time. A personal sanctuary to ponder and think. He loves a woman who he is able to discuss his newfound knowledge with. Someone who stimulates his mind before you can stimulate anywhere else *laughs*. The only issue with Mr Assistant is while his IQ is so high, he’s very likely to lack in the EQ department, which makes him not very profound in expressing nor managing emotions. He’ll be as straight as an arrow and if you accept that you will have a loving, caring, understanding partner for life.

Miss Assistant is quite similar and she is the most sensitive and feminine of all 9 Stars. Wooing her is not easy as you need to be really smart and articulate for her to even notice you in the first place. She is reserved and will quietly observe your every move Nothing misses her eye and she expects you to treat her attentively and understand her the way she understands you. Any harsh remark hurts her greatly.

In love making, they know every position in the book, every single erogenous zone just waiting to try them on with the right person. The leg and inner thigh turns them on. They make fun partners as they are inquisitive, exploratory and willing to try ANYTHING once.

If you’re not sure what Star you are, go to –>

Plot your own birth chart (you must have the hour)

Your Star will be written here: