The Qimen Method: Relationship Compatibility Part 1

Last year during one of my workshop I introduced a ‘testing’ Qimen compatibility theory using Stars which the students has feedback to me that it didn’t look quite right. So I’ve been researching on how to see Synastry using Qimen and this is the first finding, so far this has been pretty accurate.

The general theory when looking at Friendship or Like-mindedness is when 2 person share the same Destiny palace, at least the same Palace element – Wood and Wood, Fire and Fire, Water and Water, Earth and Earth, Metal and Metal. Producing cycle is still okay.

But when it comes to romantic relationships you should throw in another palace – this involves looking at your Destiny palace and your Relationship palace (6 Harmony) in your Destiny Chart, because that’s usually what you want or how you see and approach relationships. Having someone who has a destiny palace in your relationship palace shows someone you will be attracted to. Having someone who shares the same 6 Harmony palace as you shows someone who shares your same views in a relationship. Same Destiny with Same Relationship Palace is also okay. Note where the palaces and palace elements are.

For example in chart 1 and chart 2 below, Person 1 has the 6 Harmony in the South East palace, and Person 2 is a Destiny Palace of South East. Person 2 is the kind of person Person 1 looks for in a relationship – hence the attraction is high. Person 2’s 6 Harmony does not share the same palace but it still belongs to the same element – hence the natural attraction still there.


When I say Natural Attraction, it just means that the relationship is easier and your tolerance level is higher caused by the like-mindedness in character and views of relationship. If you realize you don’t fit this criteria it just means that you have to exercise tolerance, understanding and give and take a bit more than those who have this. Furthermore relationship is the most complex subject of all and some people (especially those Day Master sitting on 7 Killings), does not like anything Easy anyways.

Producing palace is still okay, but this means one person is always giving more than the other. One very okay with giving and one very okay with taking while complaining – sounds quite normal to me – *laughs*.


The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

The Qimen Method: Jade Maiden Guarding the Door 玉女守门

Fatal Attraction • An attraction between an individual and someone-something that is so strong the individual lacks reason and logic in their thinking when dealing with their attraction. The subject is often someone/something that will have a negative impact on the individual.

Okay maybe it is not all that morbid but when it comes to the formation of Jade Maiden Guarding the Door 玉女守门 it can be. In this post I’m only going to talk about the Qimen Destiny aspect and not the Strategic Execution aspect of this formation. If you have a Ding together with an Envoy Door anywhere in your Destiny chart, then you have a 玉女守门 formation with you. Advanced students can determine which area you can use it for but regardless you still have it in all aspects.


Having this in your own destiny chart means extreme likability. You have an incredible ability to build a fan base, you are so likable that even your enemies will end up becoming your supporters/friends even if they do not admit it. Public figures, celebrities and influencers will greatly benefit from this formation as they are widely accepted by mass society. Also great for people to buy your ideas, forming movements and spreading your art, so to speak. In the ancient days, women with this formation has been known to cause fallen empires with emperors waging war just to win over the heart of the fair maiden.

So, having this formation also ensures that you’re never lack of suitors regardless of how you physically look like. The only problem is that there may be too many suitors, the kind that are overly attracted to you, all vying for your attention at the same time. In extreme cases this translates to stalking and obsession which is why it is not such a great formation when it comes to cultivating healthy love relationships. When a love so great is rejected or shunned, it turns into hatred – obsessive hatred – hence the fatal attraction and cause you a lot of losses and pain as well. Vicious cycle is it not? ♥



The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

The Fan Yin Code in Relationships

Before I even start, if you’re a beginner kindly ignore this entirely. Fan Yin is a rather advanced/complex subject which is still open to a lot of discussion, debate and consideration. I consider these my own views on the subject.

I’ve gotten a number of recurring questions lately, asking me if 2 person whose Day Master Fan Yin each other can work? Like everything was okay until they found out their spouse is their Fan Yin, so what now?

For example, like this –>


This actually requires a lot of consideration and it’s not a clear cut yes/no answer because I have seen people who Fan Yin each other actually work well but you have to fit a certain set of criteria.

Fan Yin is a Heaven and Earth clash where the heavenly stem and earthly branch are both clashed/countered. This is seen as ‘killing the daymaster’ in general and is seen as something very inauspicious. Some people have it in their natal chart, you’ll notice they have a lot of highs and lows in life, You can read about it here but there are great misconceptions about it’s usefulness as well.

Since we’re only focusing on relationship, the question right now is that if you don’t have it in your natal chart and you meet a person whose DAY MASTER is your Fan Yin, can this work? Under normal circumstances, we totally discourage this but under weird circumstances it has seen to work IF you fit the criteria below:

1. No.1 Rule:

The number 1 rule actually is that the other person should not Fan Yin your Useful God. In this case the Day Master is not as important as your Useful God, especially if your Day Master is unhealthy (don’t ask me how to determine this it’s been highlighted in multiple courses). Example if you’re a Gui Chou (Yin Water Ox) DM, with the Useful God of Yi Mao (Yin Wood Rabbit), and you met a double Xin You (Yin Metal Rooster) DM like above – you should run as fast as you can *laughs*

2. Useful God

Sometimes the Fan Yin coming in IS your Useful God. Then it actually benefits you more than ruin you. In a relationship it can be draining or you have to overcome something really big to be together, so that brings us to the next criteria to see if you can take it.

3. Day Master 10 Gods

If your Day Master is sitting on EG  or 7K (or have very high EG), you’re actually more accepting to Fan Yin in general – in fact you thrive in it. So having someone who Fan Yin you, you love the chase, the thrill, the challenge and your relationship is going to be the extreme kind where either you love each other crazy or drive each other crazy, and you actually enjoy it! More often than not, there is a huge challenge you both need to overcome first, which totally excites the EG and 7K. But if you’re sitting on anything else – run.

4. Day Master Strength

Check their Day Master strength to begin with. Some are supposed to be a Fan Yin but they may be too weak to even attack u at all. Then it just becomes nothing. If the other person already has a natal Fan Yin (inward), their day master won’t be overly strong anyways, in layman’s terms this translates as someone who knows how it feels like to be attacked and usually will not attack someone else no matter what. They can kill you, they just don’t.

This is a example of a Fan Yin In chart:


There is another type of Fan Yin called the Fan Yin Out chart. People like these are naturally a bit vicious, self-centered, vindictive and they ‘kill’ even before they are being attacked or even when there’s no one attacking them. This type of chart would actually benefit from someone who Fan Yin them in return. This would be one example of an unhealthy self… BUT they are really good at making money for themselves or elevating their status using whatever it takes.


5. Yin Yang

Yin elements takes it better than Yang somehow.

6. Elements

Earth clashes (Chou meet Wei | Chen meet Xu) is always better than any other elements clashing – except in health readings, then they are all bad.

7. Keep In Check

Lastly, the Fan Yin is most favorable when it removes your worst pillar or worst element, akin to removing your bad habit and making you a better person. Sometimes YOU are the problem and someone needs to keep you in check. Exactly like how a full combine (or DE) would work, it’s just that a full combine is comfortable – heavy 7K people won’t like this. Fan Yin is challenging, exciting, driven and yes also exhausting and dangerous – which the 7K and EG/HO enjoys and calls fulfillment – playing with fire and living on the fast lane.

To be really honest relationship matters are hardest to read because anything goes. There’s no 1 fixed rule because everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different. Some like it calm and quiet, some like it supportive, some like it thrilling and some like it dysfunctional and crazy, anything goes as long as 2 person agreed to it wholeheartedly. All we can do is to help you find your flavor, and hopefully someone who will be as equally excited to agreeing it with you ♥

The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

How To Love: Yourself

You know I’ve been writing so much on my How to Love series, teaching people how to understand and love someone else, but I keep forgetting the most important thing ever, that none of that will matter if we don’t know how to love ourselves.

How many times have you settled for a relationship that is less than what you deserve? How many times have you stayed in one way passed its time? How much time have you wasted by just not knowing that you are worthy of more than those who disrespect you for no reason at all. How many times had you let people just push your around without caring about what you wanted? Or had anyone tell you how to live your life or give you look about your tattoos or just for being different?

If you’re the one guilty of judging I hope that you will find compassion some day and to those who are being judged I want you to tell yourself this, find your Day Master and love yourself for who you are. Be proud, stand tall and you are enough and it’s my job to remind you.

Jia : “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am unyielding. I am loyal to a fault. I take care of everyone like they are my family. I have willpower. I am principled. I love helping people grow. I love bettering myself. I defend to death those I love. I am proudly Jia Wood”

Yi: “I am [Name here]. I change my views with the wind. I use people to get what I want. I am very insecure. But I know give and take. I always bend to please everyone else. I can take any hardship. I can survive anything and thrive. I’m great to talk to. I come up with the greatest ideas. I’m creative. I am proudly Yi Wood”

Bing: “I am [Name here]. I always feel like no one understands me or my actions are not appreciated. I sometimes think I’m better than everyone else. But I am independent. I am self sufficient. I am most giving and I never ask for anything in return. I radiate warmth and light. I will try to be more approachable. I am proudly Bing Fire”

Ding: “I am [Name here]. I always burn myself to please everyone first and I don’t mind. I am fickle minded. I am emotional and constantly need attention. But I am wise and giving. I accept and love people for who they are. I am funny. I light up people’s lives and care about their well being. I will learn to put myself first. I am proudly Ding Fire”

Wu: “I am [Name here]. I am stubborn. I am immovable. It’s my way or the highway. I do not give in and I expect people to listen to me. But I am caring. I love my family. I protect my family. I am trustworthy and I can listen to and encourage you an entire night. I will try to change for the better. I am proudly Wu Earth”

Ji: “I am [Name here]. I am the poster child for cultivating self-love because I am too giving to the point of being a doormat. I am also stubborn but I am nurturing. I am protective of those I love and I care for their every needs. I have great instincts and I am resourceful. I am the embodiment of the word – Kindness and Compassion. I will value myself more. I am proudly Ji Earth”

Geng: “I am [Name here]. I am blunt with my words. When I’m angry I’m a force to be reckoned with. I am rough, tough and will do whatever it takes to get things done. I am ruthless. But I am loyal. I can take the most pressure. I am not afraid of hard work. I will take care and spend more time with my friends and family. I am proudly Geng Metal”

Xin: “I am [Name here]. I am vain. My face value and image is most important. I can be a drama queen and dislike criticism but I am loving. I spoil and care for those I love. I am leader. I am an influencer. I am encouraging and I want to make the world a better place. I am a great, confident speaker. I am proudly Xin Metal”

Ren: I am [Name here]. I hide my emotions well and I am difficult to understand. I can have a temper. I am blunt and honest. I am moody. I am pessimistic. But I am highly intelligent. I am resourceful. I am adaptable. I am sociable. I’m innovative and constantly adding value to the world. I will try to open up more to people. I am proudly Ren Water”

Gui: I am [Name here]. I am (look) arrogant. I am temperamental. I am difficult to lock down. I am freaking impatient and I love my freedom/change way too much. But I am most intuitive and I give to see others grow. I can read people just by feeling their energy. I am wise and I absorb knowledge with ease. I care deeply for those I love and I am patient with them. I will try to cultivate more discipline in thought and in action. I am proudly Gui Water”.

I think there’s enough of hatred in the world and it’s tiring. If there’s one thing we should be spreading, it’s always and ALWAYS, love.

And as usual, there are other components that makes up a person and you may resonate with another Stem that is actually a high healthy percentage in your chart more than your own.

“I am Mindy Yoong. I am kind and giving to a fault and I let nothing stop me from what I believe in. I am temperamental, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I have a ferocious fighting spirit and I love that about myself.” And a big thank you to those who keep reminding me that. So please share with me, what is it that you love about yourself?

The Bazi Method: The Soulmate Code

SOUL•MATE [noun]

A person who was made from the same star as you

One of the simplest way (out of many other methods) to see your affinity with another person is by looking if you belong in the same group and your soulmate can be your closest friends and family too.

Those whose DAY MASTER belong in the same group tend to share the same mindset, belief system, spiritual belief, what they seek and search for in life (if you noticed they share the same Death and Emptiness) hence their ‘souls’ are the same making them highly compatible.

Even the things they grow to love and care about are the same.

Happy Searching! ♥



The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.

The Bazi Method: Horary Charts for Relationship

This one is for all the Grow Rich with Bazi students, the Horary Chart. There were a few questions on this when I was doing the Coaching Call on this topic so I thought I’d share one example. This time I’m going to share how you do a Relationship reading using Horary Charts. I randomly plotted this chart with a make believe situation:


Firstly you need to define your question, as a random example here, Miley wants to know how her relationship is with Corey and where will it be heading. The question is important in order to determine what the pillars will mean.

In terms of relationship, the focus points are as below:

  • Year: Past Relationship
  • Month: Relationship Progress
  • Day: Asker
  • Hour: The Partner/Potential Partner
  • Minute: Outcome


Miley is represented by Geng Shen. In the past (Year Pillar) Miley has been through heartbreak and betrayal from her previous relationship (Pig-Monkey Harm) that could involve loss of money (IW) it was most likely a big lesson for her (DR + Intelligence Star) also made her soul search by herself for awhile and much wiser now (Solitary) so this pillar gives you a background situation of the asker and what has happened in the past.

Since then Miley has met (Month pillar) a new partner/potential partner, Corey, in an official work gathering or at a work related social gathering (3 Precious + Hexagram). It was love at first sight, they get along well (Red Matchmaker Monkey-Goat + Nobleman) and the progress is looking good. They also look like they haven’t officially started a relationship because on surface they appear as just good friends (RW) but are very much in love with each other. The month pillar shows the progress of the relationship up the the point of plotting this chart.

Something interesting to note, as there is a Goat-Pig half combo, the current partner might have known about her past relationship or might even know her ex-partner.

Next let’s take a look at the partner/potential partner Corey (Hour). He is sitting on Peach Blossom star, which means he is either very attractive or has a very likable personality. He might appear wealthy (DW) but in reality may not be as rich as he looks (RW stem). Regardless the Geng-Yi combo does show that they get along very well – and that this partnership mutually complements each other. The Marrying Maiden hexagram in relationship context does indicate someone who values passion over social convention, kind of a person who follows their heart more than their head. As my other colleague pointed out, it also could mean that Miley sees this as her only choice and goes with it, but because they are in love, I don’t see it as a “second choice” situation, more of a couple who both are very passion driven, who lets their heart rule their head.

The outcome, which is ‘where is the relationship heading’, shows a DO Stem, which means the relationship has a great potential to lead to marriage. And there is a Rooster-Ox half combo (Minute-Hour) which means it is the guy who wants to marry the girl eventually. The Arriving hexagram supports this as well. However as you can see there is a Death and Emptiness (DE). This entire chart is seen and should be seen from Miley’s view. Hence she may be half hearted about the decision because she feels something is missing. What is missing? Look at the 10 Gods, she feels that he isn’t as funny as he was (RW), as smart as he is (DR) or as inspiring as he is (HO) – note that the DO is not in DE. Or my colleague pointed out that since this is the minute pillar it could indicate that the sexual intimacy/chemistry is lacking – but it is a Ding in the Rooster Hour (sunset). It indicates things are just beginning and it can only get better in time (when it gets darker the candle shines brighter), also the half combo shows that the guy is willing to work on those small issues to make it work (combine away DE). This chart is plotted as per current situation anyways. You will need to plot a new chart whenever there are new or changing developments.
So this is how you can read the Horary Chart for relationship. I think the rest (career, wealth) are pretty straightforward. It took me awhile to figure out the relationship portion as well and it’s open to anyone’s additional input.

Anyway, if you’re not a GRWB student you may not understand this at all, so kindly ignore it for now.

The information in this page/blog is meant to supplement, not replace, proper metaphysics training. Readers should consult a certified consultant for proper diagnosis of their entire chart/life issues. Past events, locales and conversations may have been reconstructed in order to maintain anonymity. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, or actual events (unless specified) is purely coincidental.


The Shen Sha Code: Red Matchmaker 紅鸞

Naturally I have a lot of single friends who excitedly comes to me when they meet someone new. I was joking with a client the other day that it’s extremely difficult to date a metaphysician. We can “swipe left and right” faster than Tinder just by glancing at charts before knowing you *laughs*. Another good friend recently gave me FOUR charts to choose from. It just took me a quick glance at all 4 to immediately pick out 1 telling this person, “This one, you’re already in love with this one. The rest doesn’t matter anymore”.

As for HOW I know this? It’s by looking at this Auxiliary Star (Shen Sha). As I’ve mentioned some practitioners don’t place much importance on Shen Sha but I do. Some stars can supersede stem combinations which may not be favourable to begin with (and of course some don’t). So this is a subjective technique and entirely up to you.

So as a post-workshop post, I talked about 4 main Peach Blossom stars. Some are all about charisma, some all about lust, this one, the Red Matchmaker, we like to see because it’s all about LOVE. As logical minded as I am, I still see this as the most important thing ever. Relationship is all about LOVE (Okay if you’re that traditional maybe to you it’s just a mean to produce an heir then you don’t have this star). Because as long as there is love, you literally move mountains. It’s like a superpower, power boost, everything 10Xed if you want to put it that way but I’m not crazy enough to take some passionate, whirlwind romance as love. Love is about Trust, Respect, Honor, Giving, Growth, a LOT of Tolerance.

Of course we don’t like to see it clashed off which is why we also place importance on the other 7 criterias to make sure the whole relationship stays intact. Out of 7, this is just one albeit the most important one. But you get the point, the aim to the whole relationship game is to hit as many as possible so that when 1-2 is clashed off there will be other things holding the relationship in place.


Back to the Red Matchmaker, some combinations are better than others. Also to me it’s less ideal if you have this already in your natal chart. All it tells me is that you are going to get married, and to someone who may or may not be suitable for you – that requires further assessment, but at that point in time you thought they were. Then you’re going to ask me what if you already passed it? What if it’s at 70 years old?? Not to worry because we have 7 other criteria and also the most preferred configuration for the Red Matchmaker is when the animal sign actually appears in someone else’s chart. That way, you love them all over again every single day. How nice is that?

So what does Red Matchmaker Shen Sha actually feel like? The entire purpose of this star is to fall in love. Even when you’ve got your heart broken into pieces and sworn off men/women forever, the moment this star comes in from another person you are going to have to eat your own words. This usually leads to marriage and even if not a very solid loving relationship that will stand the test of time.

The Red Matchmaker is with the Dragon this year. Most Dragons (or Dragon somewhere in the chart) got their heart really broken last year all the way up to March 2019. This year, open up your heart again. Pick yourself up, learn the lesson and move on. It’s safe to love again 🙂